I’d sleep in the back seat with the back seat folded down so half my body could slide into the trunk area and half my body was in the back seat.
I had my clothes on hangers next to the windows so they would function like curtains.
I had a bed of blankets, a sleeping bag, and a pillow that wasn’t comfortable at first but I eventually got used to it.
The one great thing about living in my car is that I could park my car next to the beach with daily morning ocean views! Beach front property for free! 😂
Life had beaten me up and had to humble me quite a bit. I was in a tough spot not only financially, but mentally too.
I had this grand plan of being an entrepreneur, having my own business and being a multi-gazillionaire. I kept telling myself and everyone what I was gonna do.
The more I kept saying I was gonna make things happen and attaching myself to these outcomes, the more things seemed to not work out.
Constantly. Failure after failure.
Finally one night, I broke down.
But just as I was about to start talking and asking questions this inner voice, higher self, God didn’t whisper something to me.
It was more like a loud statement I needed to hear over my sniffling and tearing eyes.
Kyle, are you done yet?
You’re trying to do this all on your own and look where it has gotten you.
Let me do this for you.
That moment I agreed to surrender to shift my being from a sorry for my self attitude to a spirit filled with gratitude.
And said ok, I surrender. I tap out of me trying to all of this on my own, to achieve the dreams I have on my own.
If you have new things for me great, if I need to stay in this circumstance longer great.
But I am going to accept where I am at, let go, and live from a state of surrender.
And after the moment occurred, it was like a boulder was lifted off my shoulders.
A calming sense of peace just flowed over me.
After that moment in the back of my car, life began to shift in miraculous ways, all helping me achieve the goals I initially set in starting my entrepreneur journey.
Everything transmits a vibrational energy, especially you. And you do that through your emotional states, feelings, and thoughts.
These emotional states creates these feelings to which then create the thoughts you have. One feeling can produce thousands of thoughts.
“Im feeling sad” - This feeling can bring you into a downward spiral. Maybe you are experiencing a sad moment because your pet is sick. Next thing you know your sadness is intensified because this feeling has brought up every single thought you can ever imagine that has makes you sad from your pet being sick to the one time in 3rd grade where you saw a bird hit a window and transition into the next phase of it's spiritual journey.
When letting go, you allow a feeling to come up and run its course without you wanting to make it different or do anything. We can do this with an observer perspective.
To be surrendered, means to have no emotional attachment to a ‘thing’. That ‘thing’ can be a feeling, an outcome, a person, a thought.
Becoming an observer can allow you to better understand living in a surrendered state, you can sit with a feeling, look at it, experience it, and ask questions about it to understand it on a deeper level.
We aren’t our thoughts, nor are we our feelings. We merely are the experiencer of them.
They are merely ‘things’ that our mind and body are trying to help us understand so it can teach us what we need to know in order to become a better version of ourself. Better in everything from health to wealth.
It is the resistance to your feelings, thoughts, and current circumstance that keeps you experiencing them all the time.
The saying goes, “What you resist, persists.”
Deeply programmed in all of us are all types of fears.
There is a fear that maybe you experience, as I experience all the time still, that if we let go of a desire for something, we won’t get it. Which drove me to desiring this new life that I wanted to create so bad that it left me living in the back of my car in a far off worse circumstance that I want before.
This idea that if we let go of a desire, we wont achieve or 'get' what we want is not true. It’s actually the complete opposite idea.
Once you let go of that desire, you release an attachment you have created in your mind and you usually end up getting it.
I’m sure you have experience this in some way in your life.
As once I let go of this desire of this life I wanted and trying to do everything on my own and being run by my emotional states - Life actually moved for me and fell beautifully into place.
This was just the beginning of my understanding of living from a surrendered state and beginning to learn about letting go and knowing what kind of vibrational energy I am transmitting to my body and to the world around me.
This is a state of BEING that I started practicing since that day in the back of my car. Since then my life continually transforms when I slow down, let go and surrender.
The more ‘things,' which are 95% psychological, I let go of, the more I experience this freedom. The more I find myself continually rising up in my life to reach a new height.
It’s all one big mental game. That’s life.
Life is happening for us, not to us and usually we are getting in our own way.
If you haven’t already, read Letting Go - The Pathway To Surrender by David Hawkins.
It’s a book that always allows me to go deeper into my spiritual journey and helps me reframe and understand my life experiences so for to then inspiring me to share my stories.
Next week we will dive into these Emotions.
Thank you for reading ya beautiful human!